Fever Pitch

My medical application 2014 has reached critical point. I have now been officially rejected from Barts, Southampton and Birmingham. To be honest I’m not surprised; there was hope while they were doling out the interview invites, and even desperate dreams of a wait list offer as the interviews were in progress, but when people were discussing whether of not to firm offers from these institutions I realised that hope was futile and each of these universities were cruel. However, even with these realisations, common sense was not functioning when I received the UCAS updates. My heart stopped and my stomach flipped (especially Southampton, which came after my Warwick interview) when I logged into track to view my failure.

There remains only one hope that come 2018 I will become a junior doctor… That hope lies in the hands of the course selectors of Warwick Medical School. I keep asking myself what my contingency plan would be and honesty I have no clue. I can’t do another masters (though I am tempted), I refuse to do a PhD and spend 3/4 years not doing medicine, I have tried working and while aspects of it were enjoyable I refuse to be pressurised and made to care about inconsequential things (i.e. baguettes and the temperature of a bloody latte!). This leaves two options: Sleep for a year or get into medical school. Needless to say I prefer the latter… though I am known to indulge in a lie-in or two…

My mind keeps drifting back to the selection day, did my interviewer look bored as I babbled on about communication skills and helping people, should I have shouted more in the group task, did I spell my name correctly in the written task! Paranoia and anxiety are slowly edging into more of my waking hours. I have soo my revision to do for my exams I shouldn’t even have time to think about breathing let alone what I was doing two weeks ago, who react how and whether my shoes looked professional enough (should’ve gone with the low heels, for sure). Maybe all this worrying is a new cunning form of procrastination, to stop me from fully engaging in my current studies. If so, touché procrastination. Touché.

Selection Day

Today was the selection day for Warwick Medical School. I arrived in Coventry yesterday and spent the night in a Premier Inn, which was quite lovely especially the mini jams at breakfast (I love anything small… and sugar). I arrived at the Medical Teaching Centre early and registered, sorted out my documents and chatted with some of the other candidates. Everyone was really friendly and it was a very relaxed vibe. After a briefing the day began, we were assessed on three tasks: the group exercise, written exercise and interview. 

Group exercise

So this was the section I was most worried about due to the feedback I received back in 2012. I didn’t want to overcompensate for my previous performance and become an overbearing foghorn, but I was not going to be a shrinking violet either. To my surprise this section was the one of the most enjoyable; I made good input early on, which put me at ease and the whole group worked well together. At the end I even managed to forget I was being assessed.

Written exercise

This was always going to be a bit of a blind spot for me, just because there is no way of knowing what they are looking for. I tried my best to put down intelligent responses and apply common sense, but it is very difficult to gage my performance. The only good thing is that I finished the whole thing within time, whether that impacted on the quality of what I wrote is another matter altogether.

Interview

This was the best session, which is saying something considering how well the group session went. The lady interviewing me was very friendly but kept asking me ‘anything else?’ which unsettled me a bit until I suddenly began to talk about myself and realise I did have something else. I must admit I could have done with a bit more structure to my answers and they may have been a repeated sentiment or five, but on the whole I got out most of what I wanted to say

At the end we had a debrief where the head of admissions told us that out of the 545 people interviewed 230 people will be receive offers. Judging from the people I met in the selection centre the competition is going to be rife. Everyone seemed so credible and deserving of an offer that I don’t know how admissions are going to make their decisions. There’s nothing I can do about it now, the whole thing is in God’s hands.

Overall I am optimistic. I know optimism at this point is dangerous there is still so much uncertainty, I am not a good judge of my performance, I have no idea about my competition etc. But I have nothing else to go on at the moment and I have to choose to be hopeful. We have about three weeks wait till we hear their final decisions. The only hope for my sanity ironically is the impending deadline of our last essay next week and exams next month. O the joy…

Nearing an End

Time is racing by, back when I last posted I had two months until my interview now I have three weeks. I have been somewhat distracted from the stress of the medical application process by the latest essay and beginning my project. It’s quite good being back in the lab and the prospect of being scientific researcher as well as a doctor is exciting. Well as I get deeper into my project (more later) I can only anticipate time will travel that much faster. Another few blinks and this MSc will be over..

As it is, we are nearing the end of the taught component of course with only one more module to go. The last module was by far the greatest! Clinical neurology it was like being in specialist training, I found it the most challenging, as it was ultra clinical (I know, clues in the name…) our lectures assumed so much knowledge but in the end it pushed the non-medics to work harder and study more. There now is no question in my mind that my future will be involved with the brain. The only question is in which capacity: Psychiatry, Neurology or Surgery. I’ve narrowed it down to being a neurologist that consults in psych cases and performs emergency procedures, while conducting research of course. This role does not exist as yet, but I remain hopeful. I have been reassured that I have a lot of time to explore and make a more concrete (realistic) decision later, during or even after medical school. Right now we have quite a light module: Research methods and skills, which is great because it lends itself nicely to our projects and give some headspace for revision (which is vast!).

My interview at Warwick is fast approaching. I am worried about the level of preparation I need. I was so nervous in my last interview and I know I was quiet during the group exercise, but I have no clue about how to improve my performance. I am generally a contemplative person especially in unfamiliar situations, I like to think rather than rushing in, also the pressure not to appear competitive and forceful was at the forefront of my mind. I don’t want to say something for the sake of speaking, disagree with a perfectly reasonable point to appear original or repeat past mistakes by being too quiet. I also need to practice for the more traditional interview section of the day, which I can see myself easily taking for granted. In other related news, I was rejected from Barts about a week after hearing from Warwick and I have yet to hear anything from Southampton or Birmingham, so hope is dwindling. The news ranging from disappointing to nonexistent puts even more pressure on this interview, especially as Warwick may not only by my first choice but my only choice.

One step closer

So after all the whinging and whining yesterday, I woke up this morning determined to put things into perspective and concentrate on my latest essay. However, this decision promptly led to me watching the latest episode of American Dad. I was five minutes in when I was interrupted by a notification. A notification alerting me to this beautiful email:

Dear NeuroMed

Thank you for your application to the above course at The University of Warwick. We are delighted to be able to invite you to take part in the MB ChB Selection Centre…

Put simply, I am over the moon! I feel quite silly droning on and on yesterday about not hearing anything. But then again I am somewhat inclined to the theatrical… My interview is in March so I have about 2 months to prepare. I am one step closer to that offer of admission. Seriously if getting an offer is anything like getting an interview than I truly do not know how I will contain my excitement. 

Hunger Games

It has been nearly 3 months since I sent off my UCAS form. All I have received; is silence, bone chilling silence. Aside from a couple of generic emails about increased competition, I have no idea how far my application has been considered. So in order to have something to obsess over I turned to the forums for information and a little bit of reassurance, which at the start was fantastic! The thing about these medical applicant forums is that even though we are all striving for the same thing it is very supportive and there is a great sense of camaraderie. A place where other anxious applicants could air their worries, hopes and dreams in safety.

And then it began… The rejections.

One after the other, people fell like tributes in the arena that is the medical application cycle 2014. Like a chapter straight from the Hunger Games the rejections hurtled thick and fast like bullets. Now, I am approaching the clearing, cautiously raising my head above the parapet. This year the competition has been epic. The calibre of applicants that have been rejected is unbelievable, but I have to have faith in myself. I managed to survive up until this point so I still have a fighting chance. Right?

Sorry for all the neurosis; the silence is just getting to me. Well while I wait, I just have to focus on doing well in my current degree which really took a back seat over Christmas. I need to raise the ante big-time now that we are starting our projects. I’ll keep you posted on any progress, hopefully with good news... preferably soon.

Christmas and New Years

I apologise for my absence, it has been a long time since I updated my blog, I’ve been busy writing essays, getting ready for Christmas and subsequently gaining at least 3 stones.

I handed the second essay out of 4 on the 18^th and was so pleased to be free from studying over the holidays, with exams in April I chose to forego revision (we will see if that was a wise decision in spring). Despite the ever-malevolent fiend known as procrastination I managed to submit on time. Two weeks prior we received our results for our first essay, I got a merit (Yay!), I don’t hold out too much hope getting any higher with this essay as I fell victim to the aforementioned menace, but if I manage to maintain my grade then it will be easier to improve my overall grade in the new year.

Christmas was such a fantastic time! I absolutely love everything to do with Christmas. The songs, the decorations, the warm tingly feeling of contentment and joy… Bliss. My brother came back from Boston early December and our cousin also came down to us on Christmas Eve to spend his holiday with us, so it was a full and lively house. I made Christmas dinner for a grand total of eight people, which was not as bad as previous years and even had help from my younger brothers (an true Christmas miracle!!). Well, after a few years’ practices things finally seemed to come together without a hitch.

Things have been silent on the GradMed side, only communication has been from Warwick to say that applicants have gone up by 30%, because of this, the selectors need more time to review the applications and we will receive offers and rejections in early January. The waiting was agonising, still is, but I have allowed myself the holidays to rest my frayed nerves and enjoy the festivities.

As we come to the end of 2013, I find myself in a state of reflection. This year has been a very good year, I quit my job (such a good thing, for soo many reasons), passed my driving test, my brother left the country (a bit sad), I went after him, started my MSc (By far the best thing to happen in 2013) and applied for medical school (prayerfully for the last time). I have made it through this year becoming even more optimistic and enthused for the future than ever before. Here’s hoping 2014 will be even better!

Fancy dinners and impending stress

Last Saturday night was amazing. As fundraisers go, it was quite a formal bash: 3 course meal, flowing wine, gorgeous dresses and sharp suits. The Hilton was absolutely lovely and the turn out was good and it was quite a mixed bag of people. The highlight of the whole night had to be the dance performance and subsequent dancing. It was so good to see everyone getting involve, shaking their tail-features, especially the President of the Oral and Maxillofacial Association doing the Azonto! All in all a fantastic night out! 

Don't worry if you couldn't make it, there are always opportunities to donate :) 

The end of last week also marked the midway point of the second module of my MSc. The time has just flown by! I feel like we just began the course yesterday. Alas we are very nearly half way through the entire taught part of the course, which means half way towards exams… I have just over 3 weeks before the second essay is due, which means another 2½ weeks of procrastination. After Christmas we begin our projects and that is when the real stress kicks in. This course is very full on but honestly after a year making sandwiches and serving coffee I am so glad to be exercising me brain again.

On the GradMed front, I haven’t heard back from any of my choices. Which I am hoping is a good thing since Warwick has been dishing out rejections so hopefully my application is still being reviewed. So for now at least no news is good news!